Ibuprofen and Old Spice
by Greeeeny
Summary: The first one-shot in a series depicting the pairing/relationship of Maria Hill and Steve Rogers and the many situations and shenanigans they find themselves in. After all, what could be more intriguing than a super-soldier who loves buying Old Spice products and a kick-ass agent who has lady problems just like the rest of us? [Originally posted on A03].


Still rubbing the sleep from her eyes, Maria held onto the packet of Maxi Pads like it were a newborn child and lined up at the express checkout lane, also grabbing a box of ibuprofen along the way. Luckily it was only seven-ish in the morning, so very few people would notice the lady stuff she had to carry around.

There was already someone getting served and Maria waited as patiently as she could, wondering how long her one and only regular pad could hold on and tried her best to ignore the unbearable pain of her uterus committing suicide. She furrowed her brows, as if it could help with the pain and thought only of positive stuff like puppies...

Ice cream.

Doritos.

Olive dip.

That time of the month meant that there was seven days of hating yourself, men, everyone around you and men. Did Maria mention men? Yes, yes she did. She was already envisioning herself, curled up in a Snuggie watching a rerun of the Sopranos whilst pigging out to a packet of chips or hot chocolate. Just the thought made Maria's mind numb but the darn menstrual pain was still there. Even worse, she could hear someone coming up to her, almost too happily. Just too happily for her taste at this time in the morning.

"Agent Hill?" A melodic and too-awake for frickin' seven voice sounded from behind her.

This couldn't be happening. What if it was someone she didn't want seeing the stuff in her arms? It sounded like a man's voice with a touch of New York in it - Brooklyn, perhaps? Maria's furrow softened and her palms started to sweat. It had to be Steve - who else would be up this damn early in the morning?

"Good morning, Captain Rogers." Maria said, hiding the packets behind her back.

Steve was dressed in a pair of sweat pants and a loose t-shirt which had barely a patch of sweat on it. There was, however, a very thin and fine varnish of perspiration on his brow and a few strands of his blonde hair stuck to it. In one hand he held a shopping basket and in the other a small notebook. It was nice to see Gramps looking out for himself, particularly after he had once personally asked Maria to help him on an unusual and the most awkward shopping trip of her life.

It was awkward, initially. Steve knew what it all involved of course - but Maria was the only one available, and _willing_ to some degree to help the soldier. His fellow Avengers had made up excuses even though Maria thought that Romanoff would be square enough to help him, but Fury had her interned somewhere in Eastern Europe to collect intel for S.H.I.E.L.D. Maria, being a female and a helpful person, went with Steve. All in all, she kept more of an eye on him than anything else. He had asked her once or twice in choosing between a pair of plaid shirts and asked her opinion as to whether he looked better in denim or khaki's. Maria, whilst keeping a careful on him, found her eyes sweetening on the Star-Spangled man with a Plan and kept a straight face, however difficult it was, told him her opinion didn't matter and that he should wear whatever he wanted.

It wasn't her intention, or even something she wanted to happen, but Steve looked hurt. Not a lot, but she could tell. It was his eyes - they seemed to change even in the smallest fashion in lieu of the situation. The deep blueness of his eyes had stung Maria very deep down and she scolded herself secretly and reminded herself, demanded and ordered, to keep it simple with Steve. When Maria came home that day, bringing home with her a few books she had bought, a DVD of all seasons of Breaking Bad and a chocolate ice-cream sundae Steve had bought for her, she placed the treat on her kitchen bench and curled up on the sofa and had a quiet cry to herself. She cursed herself, for reasons she did not know and fell asleep like that. She awoke the next morning, her eyes crusty from the salt of her tears, and found the ice-cream a rusty and melted mess.

In the basket, Maria saw some dish washing detergent, Graham crackers, a block of cheddar cheese, a punnet of strawberries, some Old Spice body wash and a half-kilo bag of rice. The awkward mix up bemused Maria, who mentioned nothing of the groceries to Steve and tried to think of ways to cut their encounter short. She didn't know how long it would be, or soon, until she started to pant wildly from her abdominal pain.

"Fancy seeing you here this early." Steve said, carefully noticing the way Maria's arm twisted slightly behind her back. He let it be nonetheless. "I thought I was the only one that woke up at six to work out and do their groceries."

Maria bit the inside of her cheek and dared herself to say why she had woken so early. Maybe Steve wasn't really all that old? Albeit, he never used her forename, opened the door for her whenever they were in the same walkway and always used the word 'Ma'am'. It was so old fashioned that it made Maria want to giggle but... she also felt a heavy weight drop onto her diaphragm. Looking at Steve clutching his basket she didn't see a bachelor or just some random person doing their groceries - but rather someone so disconnected, lonely... trying to live their lives in the fast lane, stalling like a snail whilst the world around them blurred into a fast-forward action. A small, but very subtle grin, crept onto Maria's face and she rolled her eyes playfully - not something she did around the rest of the Avengers.

"I woke up very early to do some crunches and sit ups. I just realised that I didn't have any body wash or soap to take a shower. I ran down here as fast as I could." Maria explained, blurring the lines between truth and dirty, dirty lies, because menstrual cramps for her did feel like sit ups only amplified by ten.

Steve bowed his head slightly in understanding and motioned towards the Old Spice product in his basket.

"I know what you mean," Steve said almost incredulously, as if he had never met anyone else that had the same level of dedication as him in regards to _showering_ , "Ever since I woke up I just can't go a day without showering. And this Old Herb stuff is great. I don't get anything else. I really do smell like a man should. It reminds me of the stuff we had back in the day."

"Old Spice, you mean?" Maria corrected him and Steve nodded apologetically.

"Yeah, that." Steve said, looking away with a small grin of embarrassment on his almost flawless face. From the harsh convenience store lights, Maria saw the lines on Steve's forehead, giving away no secret of his ageless and stalled genetic code of human perfection. His smile was almost too childlike for his insanely masculine stature and Steve did remind her of an innocent child. His baby-blue eyes did little to contribute to his manly build and Maria's insides fluttered the moment he looked back at her.

"How have you been holding up?" She asked him quickly. "Have you gotten used to the crazy 21st century life?"

Steve's smile softened, only a bit though. This was Steve - conflicted, scared, unsure and Maria knew this. Maybe not personally, but she had certain priorities above the Avengers such as having a higher clearance level and unrestricted access to their dossiers and personality profiles. Maria could tell that he was about to lie, but not entirely. It would be a cross-section between a truth and a lie and she knew it best to consider both.

"Kind of," Steve said with falsified confidence, as per usual of him. "The food's better. The internet is great, very helpful. But, it's kind of hard to find people to relate to."

"Not many of us were frozen for seventy-years, Cap. That doesn't mean you can't find people who don't understand. I- I'm there for you, Captain. If you ever need someone to listen. I'm happy to do that." Maria bit her lower lip and realised that the stabbing pain in her abdomen had turned into a muted and burning throbbing. Bearable enough to walk normally and not like a penguin.

She breathed out slowly so Steve wouldn't notice and was relieved and heartened to see Steve's prized crooked grin and the 1940s attitude that was the sugar to Maria rugged 2000s lemon-like disposition.

"Thank you, ma'am. But I don't want to waste your time." Steve said modestly.

"No, it's fine. Really. And don't call me ma'am, it makes me feel old." Maria rolled her eyes again and Steve gave her a quiet chuckle which abused the muscles of her face into a gentleness she had not felt in a long time. The corners of the super-soldier's mouth curved and his blue eyes met hers.

"As you wish, Miss Hill."

For the first time, ever since Aunt Flo came knocking on Maria's door and her womb had turned into the Gladiator stadium, Maria smiled and felt the creases forming around her mouth and nose.

"Maria is fine."

"Sorry, Maria."

"It's all right, Steve."

They both turned to continue their business and Maria put the ibuprofen and pads onto the conveyer belt, pulling out her wallet and being greeted happily by the plump old cashier. There was the inevitable beeping of barcodes being scanned and the unbearable wait of wanting to knock down two tablets immediately and be changed and refreshed, but from the distance, Steve's voice sounded, disrupting Maria only for a moment.

"I'll see you at HQ, right Maria?" Steve called out a few aisles from where they had been talking.

"Of course, Steve."

Maria smiled again, sheepishly, and Steve vanished into the aisle.


End file.
